


Let Me In

by Haught_Damn



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Future Fic, I am a terrible person, I'll write something happy eventually, Wayhaught - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-15 08:50:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8049946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haught_Damn/pseuds/Haught_Damn
Summary: Sequel to Welcome Home. Nicole was more shaken up by the last BBD mission than she originally let on. Now it’s Waverly’s turn to be the strong one. Highly recommend reading Welcome Home first, but it’s not totally necessary.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I definitely did not expect all of the positive response I got from my last story. Thank you to everyone who read it, especially those who gave me kudos or a comment! Y’all know how to make a girl feel special ☺ Feel free to drop a comment on this one as well.
> 
> This came from wanting to explore more of Waverly and Nicole’s relationship. One of my favorite things about this show and this pairing is that the characters don’t fit into the stereotypes that we frequently see in movies, books, and TV. Too often I see couples on TV that define each individual as contributing specific things to the relationship that their partner lacks. What I love about Waverly and Nicole is that neither of them really has a certain role when they are interacting together, and both of them are strong, independent, beautiful women who are fully fleshed out characters with unique personalities on their own. And yes, while one might be more suited to a certain quality over the other, like I think Nicole brings more physicality to the table while Waverly brings the brains, it’s made very clear that Nicole is also very smart and that Waverly could definitely kick some ass if needed. The focus on two partners in a relationship as equals and not just complements to each other is a huge part of the reason why I fell in love with this ship. So naturally, my initial idea of Nicole comforting Waverly felt a little incomplete, especially since the majority of the fics I’ve read about these two, which have been totally awesome works in their own right, follow that pattern. I’m not saying that’s bad, because let’s be honest who _doesn’t_ love when Nicole takes care of Waverly, but I felt like to stay true to the characters, I needed to show that Waverly isn’t always the one that needs saving, and Nicole isn’t always her knight in shining armor; sometimes she’s vulnerable and needs help too. *steps off fangirl soapbox*
> 
> Plus, I unintentionally included certain details in Welcome Home that suggested that shit got real for Nicole on whatever mission BBD was on, so I wanted to expand on that idea and fill in some blanks, you know, for science.
> 
> Characters aren't mine. God bless Beau Smith and Emily Andras.

As Waverly slowly drifted out of unconsciousness, she gradually became aware of several things. First off, her bed was creaking due to some type of movement that was also resulting in rustling sheets behind her. Second, the lack of light peeking through the curtains combined with the bright red numbers glaring at her from the alarm clock on her nightstand indicated that it was very, _very_ early in the morning. Third, the warmth of certain officer’s body being pressed against her back, as well as the arm that she had grown accustomed to gently encircling her waist, were both absent. Rubbing her eyes to rid them of sleep, Waverly stretched and with a yawn, turned over in order to address the commotion continuing on the other side of the bed. When she saw what was happening, the remaining grogginess left in her body made a quick exit as she let out a sigh.

_Not again. This is the third time this week._

Nicole was facing away from her, but it was apparent that the redhead’s slumber was anything but peaceful. Waverly observed as her girlfriend once again started to toss and turn in her sleep, clutching at the sheets with a rather distressed expression on her usually peaceful face. Waverly made no move to try to wake her; this had happened enough times for her to know that no amount of shaking or calling out to the older girl was going to break the hold the nightmare had on her. She could do nothing except watch as Nicole started murmuring words interspersed with nonsense, sweat breaking out on her forehead and darkening the back and neck of her grey tank top. 

Their reunion after Black Badge’s return to Purgatory had been one of a little sadness, but overall a time of pure adoration and love. However, in the following days, Waverly had noticed a change in Nicole, one that was only worsening as the weeks went by. The officer had become quiet and distant, her usual cocky, playful attitude extremely muted. Then the nightmares had started. The first one came five days after Wynonna and Nicole had returned, and it left Waverly frantic when the redhead had woken with a start while still holding the brunette in her arms, crying out as she broke free from whatever was plaguing her mind. She fled from Waverly’s side like she’d been burned, swiftly moving to the opposite edge of the bed where she began to shake uncontrollably. Waverly had gone to her with soothing words and touches, but none of it seemed to help as tears streamed down Nicole’s face, unable to explain to her girlfriend what she had seen in her dreams. In fact, every time Waverly tried to ask her about them and their possible cause, Nicole vehemently shut her questions down and refused to cue her in, even when it became obvious that it was taking a toll on her physical well being. Everyone was getting used to seeing Nicole with dark circles under her eyes and hearing the exhaustion in her voice.

Waverly’s reverie was broken when the officer jerked up into a sitting position, now fully awake and gasping for air. The youngest Earp remained still and quiet, looking to see what Nicole’s reaction to her latest episode was going to be. The taller girl placed her head in her hands and closed her eyes, taking deep breaths to the point that Waverly thought she might be hyperventilating. Eventually, her rhythm slowed to normalcy, and the redhead stayed in the same position for a bit, before sliding out from under the covers and gently standing up, trying not to jostle the girl who unbeknownst to her, was wide awake beside her. Waverly watched as she trudged to the bedroom door like the weight of the world was resting on her shoulders. The bruises that had covered Nicole’s body a few weeks ago may have faded, but something was still beating her up. Now it was just on the inside.

The redhead slipped out of the bedroom and went down the hall. Waverly heard the sound of running water, probably as Nicole splashed it on her face, and then proceeded to also get out of bed when she heard footsteps descending the staircase into the kitchen. She quickly grabbed Nicole’s worn Purgatory Sheriff Department hoodie, taking in the familiar scent of vanilla and lavender as she slipped it on and pulled a pair of pajama shorts over her underwear. The small girl gently padded down the stairs, trying to remain as silent as possible, until she reached the ground level of the Homestead, peeking around the corner to see what her girlfriend was up to. Nicole was pacing the floor, one hand on her hip while the other was on her forehead. Visibly shaken, she didn’t seem to know what to do with herself. It was at this point that Waverly noticed just how thin Nicole had become. Due to her height and the fact that she was a police officer, Nicole had always been a little more on the willowy side, but she was athletic and strong. Now, Waverly noticed that her shoulder blades and hips jutted out a little more than they should, and she swore that she could see the faint outline of the older girl’s ribs through her shirt when she twisted a certain way. Eventually, the person in question made her way to one of the cabinets, wrenching it open and stretching slightly upwards to rummage around, obviously searching for something. Waverly realized what she was looking for before the redhead even pulled out her prize. She was raiding Wynonna’s liquor stash. Nicole sat herself down at the table, a bottle of whiskey and a shot glass in hand as she poured herself a drink, and another, and another.

After the third shot, Nicole slammed her glass on the table, covering her eyes with one hand while the other still firmly grasped the neck of the whiskey bottle. Even with sweat-dampened hair obscuring most of her features, Waverly could tell that she was crying. The brunette took this opportunity to finally step out of the shadows and walk into the kitchen, approaching the back of Nicole’s chair. Waverly reached around the officer and gently pried the bottle from her grasp, enveloping her upper body in a fierce hug as Nicole continued to tremble, quiet sobs leaving her body.

“Shhhhhh,” Waverly whispered, trying to tether Nicole to reality. “It’s okay, Nic. You’re okay, baby.” One of her hands left the table to lock onto Waverly’s that were loosely laced together, resting on her chest. The younger girl could feel the redhead’s heart pounding underneath her fingertips, and it scared her. This was not the Nicole she knew. This Nicole was so lost, so _broken_ , and all Waverly wanted to do was put her back together, but she didn’t know how.

They stayed like that for a few minutes while Nicole struggled to regain her composure. After Waverly felt like she had sufficiently calmed down, she broke her embrace and moved to sit in the chair next to Nicole’s, placing a hand on the other girl’s knee. She looked at Nicole’s face, puffy and red from crying, but the redhead refused to meet her gaze and look her in the eye, choosing instead to focus on the floor.

“Are you okay?” Waverly asked. The question was rhetorical. She knew damn well that her girlfriend was far from okay, but she asked anyway. She didn’t know where to start or what else to say. Nicole was still, almost as if she hadn’t heard what was spoken to her. After a while, Waverly thought she wasn’t going to get a response, that Nicole was too caught up in her own mind, but after a few seconds the officer slowly shook her head no.

“Can you look at me? Please? Waverly pleaded as she brought her hand up to gently wipe away some stray tears that were still tracking down Nicole’s cheeks with the pad of her thumb, lifting the other girl’s chin until dull brown eyes came up to meet her own. Nicole leaned into the touch and took a shaky breath as she finally spoke for the first time.

“You need to go back to bed Wave. I’ll be alright, I promise.”

Waverly was floored. Out of all of the things that she thought would have come out of Nicole Haught’s mouth in that moment, those words were not one of them. Honestly though, she shouldn’t have been that surprised. The officer was shutting her out again, just like she had been doing since the day after she came home in the middle of the night. But Waverly wasn’t going to back down this time; she wasn’t going to accept Nicole keeping her in the dark without putting up a little bit of a fight.

“No. I’m staying right here,” she said as she cupped the taller girl’s face in her hands. “Can’t you just talk to me?” Waverly searched Nicole’s expression, looking for any indication that she might be making headway in breaking down the wall her girlfriend had put up between them. 

“Let me in, Nicole. Let me help you.”

The officer wrapped her hands around Waverly’s forearms as they cradled her face and neck, an act that had quickly become a habit since they had first started dating three years ago. She was clearly waging an internal battle in her mind, trying to figure out how she wanted to proceed. She eventually tugged Waverly forward, resting their foreheads together as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Exhaling, she removed the smaller girl’s hands from their current position and took them in her own, bringing them to her mouth to place a kiss on both of Waverly’s palms before looking back to her. Hope sprung up in youngest Earp’s chest. Nicole was finally going to start talking; she was _finally_ going to open up and spill everything. They were going to talk like they used to. Communication had never been an issue for them once they had become a couple. That is, until whatever had happened on this last mission. Nicole opened her mouth as if to speak, but no sound came out. After struggling for a few seconds, she finally produced some words.

“I…I can’t.” The redhead seemed to grow increasingly distressed as she let Waverly’s hands drop from her grasp, shaking her head as she stood up from the table. “No…I…I just can’t.” She strode out of the kitchen to the front door, shrugging on a light jacket and slipping into some old sneakers as she made to open it.

“Nicole???” Waverly practically jumped up from the table, extremely confused and concerned. “Wait… _Wait_!” She was just able to catch the end of Nicole’s sleeve as she walked out the door, pulling her back over the threshold. “Where are you going? It’s the middle of the night!”

“I’m goin’ for a walk,” she said distractedly, once again refusing to make eye contact while running a hand through her hair. “I’ll be back in a little while, I promise. Just gotta clear my head” She leaned down to press a chaste kiss to Waverly’s lips, looking her in the eye briefly. “I love you.” And with that, she was out the door, ignoring the brunette’s increasingly louder pleas for her to come back inside.

“Nicole! Nicole please I-“

“Let her go Babygirl. She needs to deal with some stuff. And Lord knows we all deal in different ways.”

Waverly turned around to find Wynonna at the top of the staircase in an old t-shirt and flannel pajama pants, hair rumpled and rubbing her eyes furiously in an attempt to fully wake up. Seeing her older sister drained all of the energy and adrenaline from Waverly’s body, and she felt the tears threatening to fall. Realizing what was about to happen, Wynonna quickly made her way down the stairs and grabbed her sister, holding her close and rubbing soothing circles into the younger girl’s back as she cried. 

“I’m losing her.” That was all Waverly could get out before she broke into full sobs, clutching at Wynonna’s shirt.

“Oh Waves, you know that’s not true,” the older Earp whispered. “That woman looks at you like you’re the only person in her world.”

“But she won’t talk to me!” Waverly loosened Wynonna’s grip on her so she could look up at her sister, frustration evident on her features. “I can’t help her if she won’t tell me what’s wrong.” The smaller brunette wiped her face, suddenly going very quiet, speaking at barely a whisper.

“What the hell happened to her out there, Wy? Everyone came back safe, albeit a little beat up, but alive. What could have gone so horribly wrong that she’s still tearing herself up almost a month later, and pushing me away?”

Wynonna sighed, running her fingers through her hair as she grabbed Waverly’s hand and lead her to the couch in the living room, swiping up the whiskey bottle that had been left on the table. “I’m gonna need this. You might too.” The two sisters sat down, Waverly tucking her legs under her body while Wynonna was already taking a couple of pulls of alcohol before she got started. Clearing her throat, she began to explain.

“You know how Nicole has been spending a lot of time at the station since we got back?” Yes, Waverly had noticed. She had been glad to see more of the officer during the day than usual. They had made up for lost time, getting lunch together or bringing each other coffee as Nicole filled out paperwork and Waverly continued her research on the remaining Revenants or another Black Badge case. She hadn’t thought that much of it honestly, enjoying the redhead’s presence after being separated for so long. With a nod from her sister, Wynonna continued.

“Well, there’s a reason for that. Nicole hasn’t been cleared for active field duty.” Waverly couldn’t hide her surprise.

“What? What are you talking about? It’s just been slow on the Revenant side lately and she said she needed to catch up on sheriff department business…” Waverly said as her mind drifted to the last few weeks. The longer she thought about it, the more she remembered the multiple times that Wynonna, Doc, and Dolls had gone out to investigate suspicious activity or raid a known Revenant location. They had left Nicole behind for every single one of them. Wynonna was telling the truth. “But why? She wasn’t that badly hurt, and her injuries have definitely healed. Surely she can’t be _that_ upset because Black Badge is hesitant to reinstate her. I mean, she did get the crap beat out of her and work isn’t _everything_ -“

“Waverly, she can’t pass her psych eval.” That stopped the younger Earp’s rambling. “Given, um, certain circumstances of our last mission, we were all required to take them,” Wynonna explained. “Everyone passed the first one, except Haught. She’s failed it three times.” 

Waverly was at a loss for words. How had she not known? Nicole was supposed to be the most important person, maybe other than Wynonna of course, in her life. She knew everything about the officer: where she grew up, about her love for basketball, and how she ended up in Purgatory. She knew her favorite color (green), book ( _Of Mice and Men_ ), music (old school country ballads, which she blasted anytime they were in the car, singing at the top of her lungs), and favorite genre of movies and TV (ironically, _giant_ sci-fi nerd). Waverly knew just what to say to make the redhead laugh out loud and what to whisper in her ear to make her heart melt. She knew Nicole’s body like the back of her hand, where to touch and how to kiss so that the older girl knew, without a doubt, that Waverly loved her more than anything in this world. How had she missed this? 

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” she asked, the anger apparent in her voice. “None of you thought it might be _slightly_ important to let me know that my girlfriend experienced something so horrific that she got _benched_?!?!” Wynonna looked at her sister, trying to convey the regret she felt. 

“I’m so sorry, Waves,” she said apologetically, placing a hand on her sister’s knee. “We all felt that it wasn’t our place to tell you, it was Nicole’s. We figured she would talk when she was ready. But at this point, she’s not getting any better, so I think it’s about time I explain.”

“You _think_?”

“I know.” Wynonna corrected herself, taking a deep breath. “Settle in, Babygirl, because this is going to be a long one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I suck. This was originally just supposed to be a one shot, but it felt more natural to split it into two parts, plus I wanted to see how well I could create continued interest in a multi-chapter fic. I’ll try to post the second half in the next few days, but bear with me because college is hard. 
> 
> Don’t worry friends, it’ll all work out in the end. I’m a sucker for happy endings, especially with these two dorks. 
> 
> Don’t forget to leave me some feedback in the comments!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, people, here it is. After a week of hell, aka an exam and multiple assignments due, as well as multiple revisions of this chapter, I have finally managed to get this up. I even wrote a freakin' epilogue. Surprise!
> 
> Fair warning, some people may find this very depressing, but I promise that there is hope in the end. As you read, hopefully you'll see that there's a specific reason why what happened happened. More details in the end notes, but for now, enjoy!

“You saw the file; you know that our last assignment was to locate and subdue some sort of supernatural being that was running around all over the country. It would go from town to town, wreaking the usual havoc on properties and livestock when available, but it was also hurting people. Killing people” Wynonna paused to take another drink from the whiskey bottle. “They sent us in blind. We had no background knowledge, no idea what it looked like, just a trail of chaos to follow and orders to bring it in, dead or alive. We eventually tracked it to this small little town. It was a lot like Purgatory actually, except with no motel. We didn’t have any place to stay, but this family came up to us one day. They had noticed us sleeping in the truck and the SUV every night, and they took us in. The parents were around my age, in their early 30s, with two kids, a boy and a girl. Bradley was twelve, and Lily was nine years old.”

Wynonna paused, an expression on her face that Waverly didn’t quite understand. She seemed to be lost in thought, so the younger brunette lightly touched her shoulder to get her attention. The Earp heir snapped out of her trance, and with a quick glance at Waverly, took another drink and continued.

“We told them we were in town investigating the vandalism and other property damage that was happening all over the place, which technically wasn’t a lie, but we did say that we thought it was just a bunch of bored teenagers up to no good, and that we just needed to catch them in the act to close the case and be on our way. They told us we could stay for as long as we liked.” Wynonna shifted on the couch so that she was sitting cross-legged, facing Waverly. “We didn’t know how to thank them, so we earned our keep. Whatever it was that we were looking for kept a low profile for the first three weeks, so we had a lot of downtime, but we knew it was still there. Doc and Dolls would go and help Josh run the little coffee shop he owned downtown when we weren’t working. I helped Annie around the house; _yes Waverly, I cleaned_. And Nicole…well, Nicole took care of Bradley and Lily to give their mom a much needed break.”

Waverly smiled at that. Nicole loved kids, and she was good with them too. She could just imagine the redhead playing along with the two youngsters, laughing when one of them did something silly. She probably tried to teach Bradley how to play basketball, and watched princess movies with Lily, even though she hated them. Over the years, Waverly had thought several times about what it would be like to have her own kids with Nicole, when the time was right. A little boy or girl that they both adored, and that Nicole would definitely spoil rotten. Waverly could see her girlfriend taking them out for ice cream in her police cruiser after her shift, letting their kid sound the siren while plopping her white Stetson onto their head, giggling when it fell over their eyes. Waverly knew that Nicole wanted children too, but they hadn’t really discussed having them _together_. They weren’t married, not that kids needed to necessarily come after marriage, or with marriage at all, but the more that Waverly had thought about it, the more she realized that she wanted those two things with Nicole, very much so.

“Everything seemed fine, except we couldn’t find the damn thing we came there for in the first place. There would be little signs here and there, like some dude’s shed got torn apart or a cow was unexplainably ripped in half, you know, the small stuff. Until one day, we were at the house going about business as usual, looking over documents and maps trying to figure out our next move. Josh and Annie were out running errands. Eventually, Lily came up to the table and asked Nicole to come outside and play hide and seek with her. She couldn’t say no, so we all agreed that ‘Nicky’ needed a break and should go play. We could hear them messing around outside. Nicole would go hide in the most obvious places so that Lily could find her. Eventually, she decided that it was Nicole’s turn to count, so she turned to face the wall while Lily looked for a place to hide. She got about halfway to twenty when we heard the most terrible noise I think I’ve ever experienced. It was like part wounded animal and part scream,” Wynonna shivered just at the memory. “We heard Lily scream and Nicole shout, and by the time we got out there we saw Nicole running into the woods behind the house. There were footprints leading to and from the tree line. They obviously weren’t human, and later we confirmed that they matched our target. That asshole took a nine year old girl.”

Waverly was completely silent, not moving a muscle as Wynonna continued. A thousand thoughts were running through her head and a sense of dread crept up her body. She thought she knew where this story was headed, but she hoped to God she wasn’t right.

“We ran in after them, following the path that the monster and then Nicole had left behind. We were catching up when we heard two gunshots, followed by silence. Dolls broke out ahead of us since he’s faster; I saw him stop up ahead and just look at what was in front of him. By the time me and Doc caught up, I could see why. Nicole was on the ground, next to Lily. Apparently she had shot the thing twice and it had dropped her, but not before it did some serious damage. There was so much blood…” Waverly looked at her older sister, who refused to make eye contact with her as tears started to run down her face.

“Her injuries were so severe, and she was so small…the house was on the outskirts of town. There was no way we were going to get her to a doctor in time.” Wynonna’s voice trembled as she continued, wiping her face with her sleeves as she finally looked up at Waverly. “She died in Nicole’s arms.”

Silence surrounded the sisters like a suffocating blanket. It was clear that the oldest Earp was done talking, as she turned to place her feet on the floor and her elbows on her knees, staring at the wall while she took a large swig from the almost empty bottle. Waverly just sat there, hand over her mouth and tears falling down her cheeks as she processed what she had just heard. She jumped when Wynonna spoke up again, her gaze still glued to the far wall as she explained with a dull, monotone voice.

“We got the bastard two days later, while Black Badge came in to do damage control. He was a monster, a tall, massive creature that looked like a big dog with a bad bout of mange, with yellow teeth and blood red eyes. Kind of like a werewolf. I put him down with Peacemaker, but not before Nicole had a go at it first. I know you chewed me out the day after we came home because you thought Nicole got the shit beat out of her to distract the thing, but that’s not completely true. I think she wanted it to suffer, by her hand, for what it did to Lily, even if it meant that she was going to get her ass kicked. We tried to stop her, tell her what she was doing was stupid, but she wouldn’t have it. I’ve never seen her act so recklessly, usually that’s my job.” It was at this point that Waverly scooted closer to her sister, grabbing the whiskey from her hands and finishing it in one gulp. She huddled into Wynonna’s side, resting her head on the older brunette’s shoulder. 

“She blames herself,” Waverly whispered.

“Yeah Babygirl, she definitely does. And nothing that we’ve tried to tell her has convinced her otherwise.”

Suddenly, Waverly stood up like a shot, running up to her room to pull on pants and a pair of sneakers before coming back down the stairs to address Wynonna. “I have to go find her. She doesn’t need to be alone.” The oldest Earp nodded.

“Go get your girl, Waves.”

Normally, that sentence would have made Waverly smile, but the only thing displayed on her face now was pure determination as she strode over to the front door and flung it open…to find Nicole sitting on the front porch steps, her knees drawn up to her chin. Instantly, Waverly softened, moving to shut the door and sit down next to her girlfriend, the sides of their bodies touching from shoulder to ankle. They sat there awhile, in silence, as they both looked out into the darkness, listening to the crickets chirping in the distance. Finally, after what seemed like hours to Waverly, Nicole spoke.

“I didn’t even make it to the fence line before I ended up back here,” she said quietly, still staring out into the night. Waverly didn’t know how to respond, so she let the conversation fall back into silence, figuring Nicole would talk when she was ready.

“So you know everything now,” the redhead muttered, turning to look at her girlfriend. Waverly met her gaze, nodding gently as she realized that Nicole had probably heard most, if not all of her and Wynonna’s conversation. The officer let out a tired sigh.

“We obviously had to notify the parents. We met Josh and Annie when they got to the hospital. We told them everything, and I mean _everything_ , not the story that Black Badge was spreading to explain it in ‘normal’ terms. We came clean about who we were, why we were there, and what exactly had happened to their daughter. We felt like it wasn’t fair to keep them in the dark. I will never forget the look on Annie’s face and the sound she made, it was horrible, and it was all because of me.” Waverly could see unshed tears glittering in Nicole’s eyes. “All I could think about, in that moment, is how I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if that ever happened to our kid, if the monsters that we were chasing somehow took them from us. How can I bring a child into this world with you if there are horrors like that lurking around every corner, if I can’t protect them?”

Waverly was stunned. _Our kid_. She hadn’t expected Nicole to say that, and it caught her off guard. This went much deeper than her blaming herself for Lily, but she figured she would start with that. “Nic, it wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known what was going to happen. You just wanted to make a little girl happy.”

“Yeah, and it got her killed,” Nicole said bitterly, placing her head in her hands. “I should have been on my guard, but I wasn’t. Now every time I close my eyes, I see her, screaming and reaching for me as that…that _thing_ …drags her away. I run through the trees following it, pulling my gun, and come to find it standing over her in this clearing. I shoot it in the back twice, and it runs off. Lily is just…just _lying_ there, hurt, crying, as I run over and hit the ground next to her, pulling her into my lap and just holding her, because I know that I can’t stop the bleeding.” Nicole looked to Waverly with misty eyes, her voice trembling. “And she stares up at me with these big blue eyes that are asking me _'Why, why did you let this happen to me?'_ ” Nicole’s face crumpled as fresh tears tracked down her face, grief wracking her body. Waverly pulled her into a tight embrace.

“Oh sweetheart…” the brunette whispered, holding the taller girl as close as possible while running her free hand through red hair. Nicole buried her face in Waverly’s neck; it was like the floodgates had opened and everything was finally coming to the surface. All of the guilt, sadness, and anger at herself that she had been feeling over the past few weeks poured out of her body like a waterfall. Nicole clung to Waverly like a lifeline, as if the youngest Earp was the only thing keeping her grounded. After a while, she cried herself out, having no more tears to produce even though she continued to shake with dry sobs. Eventually, her breathing began to even out, and Nicole loosened her grip on Waverly’s shirt, unconsciously recognizing that her girlfriend was wearing her hoodie as she stilled, letting the smaller girl continue to hold her together. When she felt that Nicole had sufficiently calmed down, Waverly spoke. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she said. “I watched you for weeks knowing that you were hurting and I didn’t know why. You shouldn’t have to deal with something like this by yourself.” Nicole’s head slightly lifted off of Waverly’s chest so that she could speak.

“I didn’t want you to know that I had failed in the worst way possible,” she said. “I didn’t want you to doubt that I could protect you and our family if I needed to, not that you need protecting.” Nicole felt Waverly smile softly into her hair at that last part. “Plus, when we came home, I didn’t want you to worry anymore. You had such a tough time being apart from everyone; you didn’t need any more stress. I wanted to make it all okay. When I saw you, when I got to touch you and fall asleep next to you after so long, I kind of forgot about what happened, just for a little while. And that made me feel even worse, because I knew that Annie and Josh were probably lying in bed like we were, except they couldn’t sleep because their little girl wasn’t in the room next to them anymore. Why should I get to come home to happiness when I took so much from them?” Nicole removed herself from Waverly’s grasp, taking the brunette’s hands in her own and settling them on her lap. 

“I see her everywhere. Out of the corner of my eye, at the station, walking down the street, her blonde curls bouncing with each step. But then I remember that it’s impossible, because I let that monster take her, a monster that left her in the dirt to die alone. I know how that feels…” 

Waverly’s face softened in realization of what the redhead meant, but on the inside she felt sick, recalling how three years ago she had rushed into the hospital in a total panic, knowing nothing other than that a serial killer had taken Wynonna and had left Nicole to bleed out in the snow. The severity of her injuries combined with prolonged exposure to the elements had caused her heart to stop, and Waverly had felt like hers had done the same when Dolls told her that the older girl had to be resuscitated at the scene _and_ in the ambulance on the way there. She had cried alone in her room hours later when the realization hit that Nicole had almost been taken away from her before she could tell the officer how she really felt, that she wanted to be with her. It had taken that near-death experience for Waverly to finally acknowledge what she wanted, and she was grateful for that, but the brunette knew for a fact that she had never been so scared, with the lives of the two people most important to her hanging in the balance. Feeling Nicole shift next to her jerked her out of her reverie, and she looked back at her girlfriend, tightening her grip on her hands.

“But she wasn’t alone,” Waverly said. “Wynonna told me that you found her and were there with her until the end. She obviously loved you Nic; the fact that you were by her side made her less afraid. You did all that you could, just by comforting her, just by being there and distracting her from what was happening. That’s more than any of the other victims got. You helped in the only way possible.”

Nicole looked at Waverly, analyzing the brunette’s words as she took a shaky breath, a new batch of fresh tears welling up in her eyes. Waverly sighed, confident that what she had said hadn’t made any difference in how Nicole felt. She briefly broke eye contact with her girlfriend and looked out over the Homestead, wondering if there was anything that could make Nicole realize that she wasn’t to blame for what had happened. Suddenly, she felt a head come to rest on her shoulder and a hand entwining with hers as another wrapped itself around the crook of her arm. Nicole somewhat relaxed, letting her body lean into Waverly’s as she brought up their joined hands to kiss the younger girl’s knuckles. It was then that Waverly realized that she had in fact succeeded. She hadn’t solved the problem, but she had let Nicole know that this wasn’t her fault, that she wasn’t alone. And somewhere, deep down, the officer was starting to believe her.

“I’m exhausted.” The simple statement was brief, but full of meaning. Nicole _was_ exhausted, not just physically due to lack of sleep, but mentally and emotionally as well.

“I know, baby,” Waverly said, echoing what Nicole has whispered to her years ago for comfort in a time of crisis. The brunette turned slightly to place a kiss against the redhead’s temple. 

“Take me to bed, Wave,” Nicole whispered as she sat up, allowing Waverly to stand and pull her up with her off the porch steps. She took Nicole’s hand, leading her inside and up the stairs, neither of them noticing that Wynonna was passed out on the couch, cradling the empty whiskey bottle as she snored loudly. Waverly opened the door to the bedroom, gently removing Nicole’s jacket and shoes before shedding her own extra pieces of clothing and pulling the officer into bed with her once they were both down to their pajamas. Lying on her back, she wrapped her right arm around the taller girl so that Nicole’s head was resting on her chest. She felt fingers drift over her middle as the redhead pulled her closer, wanting as much physical contact as possible as she laced their hands together to rest on Waverly’s stomach. Nicole looked up at the brunette, eyes glancing briefly to her lips. Waverly took the hint and closed the gap between them.

“Thank you.” Nicole murmured into the kiss, which was brief but incredibly meaningful. She then resettled herself at Waverly’s side, and before long the smaller girl could feel her start to gradually relax. However, there was something nagging at Waverly’s mind, something that had preoccupied her since she heard Nicole bring it up, and she felt like it needed to be addressed.

“So you want to have kids with me, huh?” she said to the ceiling with a slight apprehension, nervous about the response she might receive after all that had happened that night.

“Yes, two or three to be exact,” Nicole said, sleep creeping into her voice as she hugged Waverly closer. “However, we need to set some ground rules. I love you, and I think that this little trend y’all have goin’ on is adorable, but there is no way in hell that I am naming all of my children with something that starts with a ‘W’.” Waverly chuckled, and Nicole could feel the laughter radiate up from the brunette’s chest. The younger girl decided to let the slight insult to her family slide. She was just happy that Nicole, _her_ Nicole, was starting to poke back through after the last few weeks, sass and all. 

“Well then.” Waverly huffed, feigning offense. “Are there any other major life events that you are planning to accomplish with me that I should be aware of, officer?” she said playfully, but somewhere in her heart she knew she was serious, testing the waters for how Nicole felt about their future and what it would look like.

“Well,” Nicole said, yawning in the process. It was obvious that this conversation wasn’t going to last much longer. “When this damn curse is broken and we’ve settled down a bit, I want to revisit this kid situation. But some time between now and then, Miss Earp, I plan on making you a Haught.”

Waverly’s eyebrows almost reached her hairline at the brutally honest statement; so many things were coming up tonight that she hadn’t expected. She tried her hardest to hide how off guard Nicole’s admission had caught her, but the redhead felt Waverly’s heartbeat skyrocket and realized that she had put her on edge, so she propped herself up on her elbow to look at her girlfriend, her other hand leaving Waverly’s on her torso to cradle the side of the brunette’s face in a reassuring manner. 

“Baby, the best decision I ever made was finally working up the nerve to walk into Shorty’s and giving a beautiful, beer-soaked barmaid my card.” The corners of Nicole’s mouth twitched up at the memory. “I never knew that I could feel about anything the way I feel about you. I must have some points with the Big Man upstairs, because I have no idea what I did to deserve this.” Nicole looked at Waverly with a small, sleepy grin, a grin that was just big and genuine enough to finally reveal the dimples that the youngest Earp loved, but hadn’t seen in weeks. “I love you so much, Waverly Earp, and I want, more than anything in the world, to someday call you my wife.” She stopped abruptly, realizing that she had no idea if the other girl even _wanted_ to get married. “I mean, as long as that’s what you want t-“

Waverly silenced the officer with a bruising kiss, threading her hands though fiery locks as she poured everything that she felt for Nicole into it. When they broke apart, the youngest Earp looked up at her girlfriend with a sly look on her face. “So was that a proposal?”

Nicole’s eyes went wide and she froze, her mouth hanging open. Waverly laughed and brushed a stray section of hair from the redhead’s face, tucking it behind her ear. “Babe, I’m kidding.” Nicole let out the breath she had been holding as she felt the smaller girl gently guiding her back to their previous position.

“Good, because that was definitely not how I wanted it to go,” she said as her hand once again found Waverly’s over the brunette’s taut stomach, snuggling closer to her side.

“Oh? And how do you plan on it going?” Waverly asked, glad that Nicole couldn’t see her face because she was grinning from ear to ear. The promise of eventually marrying this woman, the person who she truly believed was her soulmate, made her absolutely giddy, regardless of the current situation they were dealing with. She felt the officer’s weight press into her even more as sleep threatened to overcome her.

“I was thinking something with candles, me getting you into a sexy black dress…” Waverly giggled at the reminder of them discussing what to do on their first date three years ago, a date that, due to _unforeseen circumstances_ (Revenants), never actually happened. “And maybe, you never know, maybe _you_ will propose to _me_ , but I think I’m gonna beat you to it.”

“Challenge accepted.” Waverly said as she kissed the top of Nicole’s head. “Why do you always have to make everything a competition?”

There was no answer. The youngest Earp knew that the officer had finally fallen asleep, her deep breathing making Waverly realize that she was also incredibly tired. As her eyes grew heavy and started to close, she felt a sense of calm overtake her. It was a welcome feeling given the last few weeks. She knew that Nicole had a long road ahead of her to cope with what had happened, but in the end, the sparkling brown eyes and trademark swagger that she adored would return in time. She was going to be okay. They were going to be okay.

The next morning, Nicole woke to warmth surrounding her, as well as the faint smell of a certain brunette’s shampoo. As she groggily opened her eyes and got her bearings, she realized that she and Waverly were in the same spot they had fallen asleep in. For the first time in weeks, there had been no nightmares. Nicole slowly untangled herself from the tiny Earp and made to get up to go to the bathroom, looking down at her still sleeping girlfriend as she opened the bedroom door. She looked so peaceful, lying on her back with her long hair splayed out behind her on the pillow. Nicole didn’t think she had seen anything quite so beautiful before in her life, and the blush that crept up her cheeks made a small smile break out on her face while she glanced down at the floor. She still had a lot of work to do to make her peace with what had happened, but Waverly was going to be by her side every step of the way. As she quietly slipped into the hallway, closing the door behind her, she could only think of one thing.

_Damn, I can’t wait to marry this girl._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know it's pretty horrible to kill off a nine year old, but I had to come up with something that would mess up Nicole to the point that she was seriously struggling afterwards and wouldn't want to tell Waverly about it. So, I figured it would have to run deeper than a simple event, it would need to make her question herself and what she saw in her future down the road. That, and I have a fierce headcanon that Nicole Haught loves and wants kids.
> 
> Click next chapter for fluffy goodness. Oh, and please, please, pretty please leave a comment for me, I would love any feedback I can get :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise peeps! I got inspired to write a short little wrap up to my emotional cry fest, because Nicole and Waverly deserve happiness, and I deserve to _write_ happiness for once. 
> 
> Have at it, I didn't even make you wait for it!

_Several Years Later._

Nicole watched Waverly from the doorway, leaning up against the frame. The brunette was sitting up in a hospital bed, cradling their newborn daughter in her arms. The past 24 hours had been a blur, with Nicole breaking every speed limit in the county, police sirens blaring, in order to meet Wynonna and Waverly at the hospital after the youngest Earp had gone into an early labor. She had burst into the room in full uniform, rushing to her wife’s side where the smaller woman had proceeded to severely bruise her right hand during the whole ordeal. _Her wife._ Nicole smiled as she twisted the wedding band on her finger with her other hand, squinting slightly as the matching golden loop that had been residing on a chain around Waverly’s neck for the past few months caught a few rays of the dying sunlight streaming in from the window.

They had gotten married a little over a year ago, after Wynonna had sent the last Revenant back to hell, breaking the curse once and for all. She had kept her promise, beating Waverly to the proposal, taking her to all of their favorite spots once she had gotten off her shift, before tugging the giggling brunette into the place where they had first met. It was at Shorty’s that Nicole had knelt, her Stetson in her hands, and explained to Waverly that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with her. Thank God she had told Gus to make sure the bar was empty beforehand, because they would have gotten some serious wolf whistles with the way her girlfriend, now fiancée, had grabbed her by the collar and kissed her senseless afterwards. 

It didn’t take them long to decide to start a family. With Nicole surpassing thirty and Waverly not far behind, plus the constant reminder that life was too short, they concluded that sooner was better than later, and now, watching her wife interact with their daughter, Nicole knew that they had been right. She crossed to the other side of the room to sit down next to the bed, placing a soft kiss to the younger woman’s temple as she passed the small bundle to her. 

Waverly didn’t even protest when Nicole once again insisted that they had to break tradition. Lily Earp-Haught was going to take the world by storm, whether or not her name started with a specific consonant. Wynonna was going to kill her, but the look on Nicole’s face after agreeing with her was totally worth it. She knew how important that name was to her wife. While the redhead had eventually gotten back to her old self after that mission several years ago, she always carried the memory of a little blonde girl with her everywhere she went. Waverly let her head fall back to rest against the pillows while she watched the officer fuss over the baby in her arms. She had never felt so content in her life. After everything the both of them had been through, they had come out on the other side, _together_. 

Waverly couldn’t wait to see where the next adventure took them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it! Hopefully someone enjoyed this, because I really enjoyed writing it. Who knew coming up with words and putting them together in semi-coherent sentences could be such a stress reliever?
> 
> You know the drill people. Leave a comment if you so desire.
> 
> I don't know if I'll write any more after this. School is kicking my ass and I have less time than I've ever had before. If I somehow get hit with another idea, probably Wynonna Earp related, that I absolutely _have_ to write down, you might see me pop up again. 
> 
> Until then my friends, I hope your days are filled with tons of snark and all the whiskey and donuts you could ever desire. Season 2 will be here before we know it!


End file.
